There's a Good Reason Why Hours of Screen Time are OK

And it's not what you think

Today’s post is a special treat! As a celebration of Raising Gen Alpha’s launch earlier this week, our regular Friday story for paid subscribers will be FREE! If you like it, upgrade to paid to access content like this next week.

Some days, I let my 3-year-old watch 3 hours of TV. Yes, really.

I’m not saying this to be controversial. Or shocking. Or to make you think you’re a better parent than me in some way or vice versa.

I’m saying this because it’s the truth.

If you’re reading this on the day it’s published/sent, you know it’s a Friday. And on Fridays, my family of three has a pretty standard evening after daddy and toddler come home. We order a cheese pizza, eat together at our kitchen table, and likely head to the living room to watch TV.

And by “watch TV" I mean that we let our toddler sit on the couch and dictate what’s on the big screen while me and dad—or just one of us—relax and scroll on our phones. Sometimes, my husband joins his teammate at a bowling tournament so I’m parenting solo for the evening. During these times, I will typically catch up with friends over text or play around with my coloring book hobby.

Meanwhile, my son is just hanging out on the couch probably watching Blaze and the Monster Machines on YouTube Kids.

He looks like those stereotypes of a kid who turns into a zombie once the TV is on. And you know what? I think that’s perfectly fine.

In the back of my mind, I admit I have quite a bit of “mom guilt” that I’m not engaging in some fabulous activity with my child. I think about all of those stories warning us that screen time negatively impacts kids’ mental health. Or the study from earlier this year that linked infant screen time with executive function issues at age 9.

And yet, as you’re reading this, I’m probably chilling on my couch, mindlessly folding laundry, and finishing my current audiobook while my toddler watches Peppa Pig or old WB Kids shows.

Are you judging me right now? It’s fine if you are—because I actually have a very good reason why I’m not stressing about the two hours of TV time he’ll get tonight and maybe tomorrow morning and probably tomorrow night, too.

And it’s a reason you may actually relate to.

The studies, research, and papers aren’t telling the whole story.

Why The January 2023 Study May Be Flawed

The results seem pretty dire in the study I mentioned above (which was published in JAMA Pediatrics). The authors conclude that “infant screen use was associated with altered cortical EEG activity before age 2 years; the identified EEG markers mediated the association between infant screen time and executive functions.” Basically, the researchers measured the electrical activity in the brains of 437 children at ages 12 months, 18 months, and 9 years.

The parents self-reported screen time at 12 months, EEG data was collected at 18 months, and teacher-reported questionnaires and “objective laboratory-based tasks” were conducted at 9 years to measure child attention and executive functions.

Okay, so… that sounds pretty reasonable, right?

Not so fast, though. There are a few potential flaws with this study that I think we need to talk about. (Note: I am a journalist, mom, and obsessive researcher—I am not a trained scientist or medical professional.)

1. The children in the study were from the population-based, prospective cohort Growing Up in Singapore Toward Healthy Outcomes (GUSTO). There is nothing wrong with this, of course, except that the study is being published for the U.S. public, and there are many differences between our two cultures. Additionally, the race and ethnicity of participants were what you’d expect in Singapore: Chinese, Indian, and Malay. The study was conducted using data from a predominantly Asian population. But it’s being used to inform a population of 57.8% White (non-Hispanic), 18.7% Hispanic or Latino, 12.1% Black or African American, and 11.4% of everyone else (American Indian and Alaska Native, Asian, Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander, Some Other Race, and Two or More Races)—according to the latest data from the 2020 U.S. Census Bureau. I’m no scientist (as I said above) but that doesn’t make much sense to me. While some experiences are universal (let’s say that all parents let their infants watch a bit of TV), other experiences are not (let’s say that you’re a single Afro-Latina mom with two kids and three jobs who struggles to get government assistance due to the “Welfare Queen” stereotype). So can we really fairly compare the two at the end of the day?

2. Researchers noted that the children had an average of 2-3 hours of screen time daily. They also noted that the mother-child pairs were divided into four groups based on monthly household income. Researchers mention that “the group with monthly incomes less than SGD 2000 ($1478) represented those who likely received government financial subsidy” and that “economic deprivation and psychological ill effects are often reported in families receiving subsidies, with estimates of 14-31% endorsing severe to extremely severe scores on the Depression, Anxiety, and Stress Scale.” But that information isn’t mentioned again in the study and doesn’t seem to be used to clarify the results. My question for the study authors is: Isn’t it possible that families with severe depression, anxiety, and stress have many other factors that can impact a child’s screen time, learning, and executive functions? Plus, the study doesn’t mention that neurological differences—such as children and/or parents with a neurodevelopmental disorder such as Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)—could impact the results of executive function tests.

I’m not going to delve into my other issues with the study. But I have serious doubts that it can tell us everything we need to know to decide whether we will allow our babies any screen time. Remember: the study does not represent the U.S. population, doesn’t take into account whether the stresses of families impact screen time choices, and doesn’t even mention that executive function issues can be the result of many other things

(Note: Yes, many other studies have potentially similar-ish results but I am focusing on this one because it’s the latest one to make headlines and worry American parents like me.)

Quantity and Quality Time When It Comes to Screens

Something I haven’t seen come up in these conversations surrounding screen time is the value of quality versus quantity time with parents.

Why do I mention this? Well, because it is possible that a child that receives both 2-3 hours of screen time a day and 1 hour of quality screenless time with parents has very different long-term results than a child who does not get this quality time. In fact, I would bet I’m pretty right about this. (Again, not a scientist.)

A 2020 study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health compared parental and child screen time and the home environment's quality. Researchers found that “higher screen use may reduce the variety of a home environment, which can hinder a child’s cognitive development and/or school readiness.” This means that the more screen time a child had, the less variety of educational and engaged activities they had in their home, thus potentially impacting their development. (Note: Isn’t this a bit reversed? A child may have more screen time *because* their home has less variety in their home environment. Not the other way around, which seems to be what researchers are saying. After all, busy and stressed-out working parents probably don’t have the time, energy, or bandwidth to set up “variety” in their homes, and thus have to rely on screen time more than parents who are able to devote more time to the care of their home environment.)

But the *really* interesting findings here are that “higher parental screen use was also linked with increased parental responsivity, raising questions about the role of timing of viewing, type of programming, and the extent to which interactive co-viewing occurs.” Basically, parents who spent more time on their own screens were more engaged with their kids. So quantity screen time equaled quality parent/child time. Fascinating, no?

Study authors conclude that perhaps having an “enriched home environment while incorporating appropriate co-viewing behaviors may be the way to navigate parenting in the prospective future.”

So if we’re using our screens more while also engaging with our kids more through activities such as co-viewing then it doesn’t have to be all that much different from reading together—which has been shown time and again to benefit kids and families. (Note: Co-viewing is when you’re cuddling, focusing your attention together, and sharing the experience of seeing and hearing the same thing.)

I remember reading an article that basically said, “The best thing parents can do for their kids is to read to them.” And they meant it in any context—all racial and ethnic demographics, ages, economic and living conditions, etc. So if you’re feeling a little guilty about allowing your kids hours of screen time, perhaps read them an extra book or two that same day.

Here’s the Good Reason Why Hours of Screen Time are OK

A lot of the conversation online lately mentions that screen time is OK for kids when parents need to be able to do something else. For instance, it’s fine to put your baby in front of the iPad for 20 minutes while you cook dinner. And while some of those conversations mention that screen time is also OK when a parent needs a break, I don’t think we are truly considering all of the “good” reasons for hours of screen time.

While screen time has some true benefits, such as improving socialization, enhancing critical thinking, and encouraging literacy and communication, we don’t often talk about the fact that it isn’t the *only* thing parents are doing with their little ones.

For me, the “good” reason for being OK with hours of screen time some days is because I know that I am highly engaged with my son much of the time.

I actively play with him, we do art together, daddy and him go on hikes, and I’m slowly having him help me with baking. Oh, and he loves it when we dance—meaning I’m playing Gloria Estefan or In the Heights while carrying him, throwing him around, and pretending to swing dancing. It’s very active and I find myself barely making it through a single song now that he’s 33 pounds and counting.

That’s just to name a few.

We also read to him nightly and have been doing that since we moved from Florida to Colorado in April 2021. He was just over a year old.

Not only that, but we take an active role in our reading. Sometimes we ask him questions, other times we let him tell us what he’s seeing. Sometimes I sing the books to him. Other times we just have fun pointing things out. It varies. But the point is that we do this daily and are highly engaged throughout.

So you know what? I take into account everything we do with my son—not just his amount of screen time.

Did we play? Did we eat? Did we go outside? These are just some of the questions I ask myself daily when figuring out our next activity. It’s not a perfect balance but the point is that *balance* is something we strive for as a family.

It doesn’t serve my son to have two exhausted parents constantly trying to sort of engage with him while barely taking care of ourselves—which is what happens if we try to be responsive to him 24/7.

I would much rather that he have true quality time with mommy and daddy where we’re all feeling our best and able to truly be present. If I’m tired, that’s just not happening. I’ll be there physically, but it’s hard for me to waddle through playing with his 27 monster trucks when I’m exhausted—physically or emotionally.

And you know what? My son deserves a mom who can really be there for and with him. I simply can’t do that all the time. No one can.

So on Fridays, when I feel pretty brain-dead from the busy week of being a working parent and human in general, I’m completely OK with him watching TV for 2-3 hours.

Sometimes I am co-viewing with him but most times, I let him be. I engage with him if he talks to me, points something out, or jumps off the couch because he needs to let out some toddler energy. But my engagement during these times is much better if I was also able to lay there a bit, finish my stuffed-crust pizza, and say “hi!” to my bestie in Florida.

Plus, if I feel like we need some quality time, I can always take 5 minutes to do “special time” with him. It’s a fun, quick way to bring us closer together. Trust me. It’s science.

What are your family’s screen time habits? As a parent, do you feel guilty for allowing screen time or simply avoid it?

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When I was the first ever Parenting Editor at theSkimm, I led the creation of our “special time” story. I’m still pretty darn proud of that one.

Talk soon,
Irina (she/her) - raising a March 2020 gen alpha kid

P.S. I’m finally watching the final season of Ted Lasso with my husband. We used to watch TV together every night but, since becoming parents, it’s pretty much impossible. It’s not just me, is it?