Why Black Fathers are Crucial in Improving the Black Maternal Mortality Rate

Dr. Darren D. Moore on how to support Black fathers

Father’s Day can be a wonderful day for some. But it can also be a tricky day for others.

As I think about what today means, I’ve come to realize that there are so many experiences of fatherhood that I just don’t know much about. I know the type of fatherhood I saw in my own Cuban dad. I see my husband be a father to our son. And I see friends and acquaintances post about their own spouses and fathers online all day long on days like today.

Through all of the content that tends to be shared on days like today, one thing I rarely see discussed in the grand scheme of things is the unique experience of Black fatherhood. If you are a Black writer or content creator, then you’re probably posting about this. And, sure, there are also plenty of online publications that do those usual Father’s Day posts that sometimes mention the experience of non-white dads.

But one of my goals with Raising Gen Alpha is to not only discuss the unique challenges that we parents of kids born 2010-2024 face—but also to shed light on the diverse experiences of parenting these days. My primary goal is to write for people who find themselves outside the norm with stories that make them know they are loved and accepted in the world.

As a neurodivergent bisexual Latina, it’s important for me to tell these stories—which is why today, I want to share an interview with Dr. Daren D. Moore. I had the honor and pleasure of speaking with the renowned clinical professor, therapist, and expert on Black fatherhood and fatherlessness.

Darren D. Moore, Ph.D., MAED, LMFT, is a father, husband, clinical professor, and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). And the owner of I AM MOORE, LLC., a counseling and consulting firm in Georgia.

He works with individuals, couples, families, groups, and organizations in Georgia as well as across a variety of states via telehealth and focuses on areas related to fatherhood and fatherlessness, higher education administration, workplace and mental health, men’s health, mental health, couple, and family relationships, and obesity, weight loss, eating disorders, and mental health.

Dr. Moore is also a clinical professor at Northwestern University.

Dr. Moore obtained his Ph.D. in Human Development: Marriage and Family Therapy from Virginia Tech, his MS. in Marriage and Family Therapy from Valdosta State University, his BA. in African American Studies from the University of Minnesota, and holds a MAED in Higher and Postsecondary Education from Teachers College, Columbia University. 

Below, please find my conversation with Dr. Moore about Black fatherhood, why Black fathers are crucial in improving the disparities among Black maternal mortality rates, the challenges that Black fathers face when raising Gen Alpha kids, how Black fathers can overcome their own fatherlessness experience, and develop closer bonds with their children that go beyond their financial and physical safety needs.

1. Tell me a bit about your own background and experience with Black fatherhood. What got you interested in this topic on a professional level?

I was raised in a single mother-headed family with no involvement from my biological father during childhood and adulthood. This partly ignited an interest in the topic of fatherhood and fatherlessness. I also saw issues related to father involvement and fatherlessness among many in the community where I grew up.

Later I studied Marriage and Family Therapy and naturally was interested in thinking about ways that fathers impact health and family functioning. As a father myself, I also have a vested interest in thinking about health promotion and healing in children and families in my community and in the world. And I focus on these topics in my direct clinical work, consulting, teaching, and research. 

2. What do you think is the biggest challenge that Black fathers are facing today? How does your professional work help them to overcome that?

I believe the biggest challenge Black fathers face is structural indignities in general, but specifically within the healthcare system. We do not do enough to support a Black father’s identity.

This starts before the transition into fatherhood, through all of the barriers that exist to oppress and disenfranchise Black men—such as issues with pathologizing Black men, the school-to-prison pipeline, the prison industrial complex, issues within primary and second education, police brutality, among numerous other issues that plague the Black man.

Structural indignities also continue during the perinatal process, where Black fathers are not always included as critical and important factors that may impact maternal and child health. We do not do enough to address Black father issues, such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and postpartum depression.

We do not include Black fathers enough during medical appointments that tend to focus exclusively on mothers. Black fathers have a lot they can contribute if invited, and supported, and if their roles are reinforced through practices in medicine.

When we fail to include Black fathers, we inadvertently render them invisible and send the message that they are not important, that they do not matter, and that they are not valued. This is detrimental to Black fathers and their families, as Black fathers can help during the perinatal process and beyond, which may have a positive impact on maternal health outcomes.

Current outcomes are problematic when considering the significant health disparities that impact Black women and children when compared to others. Black women are 3-4 times more times likely to die during childbirth, or experience complications during pregnancy when compared to whites. Further, socioeconomic status is NOT a protective factor for Black women and children, and Black children are more likely to die or have health issues compared to whites. Black men may play a vital role in decreasing some of the health disparities by working to support Black women during pregnancy.

In my work, I use a variety of theoretical models when working with Black fathers. One model in particular that I use is the Dignity Model, developed by Dr. Donna Hicks from Harvard University. This model is rooted in honoring one’s dignity, healing relationships, and addressing dignity violations. In this model, there are ten elements of dignity, which include:

1. Acceptance of Identity

2. Recognition

3. Acknowledgment

4. Inclusion

5. Safety

6. Fairness

7. Independence

8. Understanding

9. The Benefit of the Doubt

10. Accountability

I use the elements of dignity to help Black fathers understand their value, practice self-agency skills, and reaffirm their identity as fathers. I also use the dignity model to train mental health and medical students and working professionals to help them create more inclusive spaces in their work that can propel Black fathers to be involved and active in the overall health and wellness of their families.    

3. My work is primarily focused on parents of Gen Alpha kids—aka those born between 2010-2024. What particular challenges have you seen Black fathers, families, and communities face in today's world? And what advice, if any, would you give to these Black fathers with Gen Alpha children?

If I had to pick one, I would suggest police brutality and its impact on Black men and their families.

With the killing of George Floyd (and countless others) and the Black Lives Matter movement, issues related to identity, race, and oppression are issues that I think particularly impact Black fathers, their families, and communities.

I believe Black fathers must instill in their children that they are valued, loved, and cared for. And they must teach their children how to advocate for themselves, how to be resourceful, and how to ask for help when needed. Black fathers also must lead their families and communities. This means they have to lead by example and work to support not just their families, but their communities at large. This also means reaching out to those who do not have fathers, and serving as father figures when they can.   

4. Fatherlessness is a difficult topic in any community, but it seems to be especially hard for Black families who struggle with stereotypes. What would you say to a Black man who is about to become a father himself but didn't grow up with a father figure?

I would say that despite not growing up with a father, one is enough, and one has the capacity to be an excellent Black father.

I would focus on considering how he views himself and point toward all the positive aspects and characteristics that can be passed down to his children. I also believe in providing resources for Black fathers who may benefit from various mentoring programs and educational programs that discuss parenting.  

5. It's important to build resilience in your children, as well as in yourself. How can Black fathers foster resilience in themselves and in their children in the face of systemic racism and growing disparities?

When we fall, we have to get back up, and keep getting back up! I think this is the best way to think about things.

The fact of the matter is there are systematic and structural barriers that have been set in place to break Black men. In my work, we focus on resilience, perseverance, persistence, and Black excellence.

We also teach coping skills, problem-solving skills, and emotional expression and regulation. At the same time, we must focus on exploring what we can do at the societal level to promote resilience—this includes the educational system, and the healthcare system, among other systems that do not always support Black men and their families. 

6. Discussing mental health can be extremely difficult for communities of color. How do you work with Black fathers to help them open up the conversations within themselves and find the help/support they need but are afraid to ask for?

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I aim to have direct, open, and honest communication with my clients, students, and others I work with.

I am a straight shooter in that I “call a spade, a spade.” I believe it is easier to have real conversations when we are honest with ourselves and with each other. However, this is not possible unless I am able to create a safe environment that allows others to feel comfortable. Therefore, as a clinician, my job is to create safe spaces for these conversations where my clients trust me with their heart, mind, thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Once trust is created, we can discuss mental health in a way that is solution focused, trauma-informed, and rooted in health and healing.

7. How can spouses support the Black father experience? And how would this support differ for Black families versus mixed-race families?

Spouses can support Black fathers by simply loving them, supporting them, uplifting them, and holding them accountable.

I believe Black men need love, affection, and support regardless of if they are in a mixed-race family. However, I believe that there must be attention focused on contextual factors (race, class, gender, culture, etc.) when part of a mixed-race family to ensure that Black fathers are understood, acknowledged, and affirmed. 

8. Families come in all shapes and sizes—including queer Black fathers, non-binary Black parents, and Black trans men who become fathers. However, these experiences can be very different from cis straight Black men. What support and encouragement have you found that LGBTQIA+ Black parents need today, especially in the face of growing anti-trans legislation in addition to racism and police brutality?

While I approach all Black fathers in the same way, I believe it is not only important but critical to understand and acknowledge the complexities inherent in discussions about race, class, gender, gender identity, and sexual orientation (among other contextual factors).

When working with individuals who identify as a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, I work to:

1. Strengthen their identity

2. Support their identity

3. Celebrate their identity as fathers, queer Black Fathers, non-binary Black parents, and Black trans men who become fathers.

I do this by focusing on creating, cultivating, and sustaining a sense of belonging. We all want to belong and should feel accepted, understood, valued, and celebrated.  

9. How do you help Black fathers incorporate more joy into their lives and relationships with their children despite the stereotypes and harmful outside forces (such as police brutality)? 

Police brutality and prolonged exposure to violence can contribute to difficulties related to mental health, including but not limited to depression, anxiety, PTSD, and stress. Plus, associated physiological and medical issues can result, such as chronic headaches, fatigue, issues with sleep, diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, high allostatic load, and shorter telomeres, among other issues.

Nonetheless, I encourage Black fathers to focus on ways they can promote health and healing with their children. This may be by engaging in quality time with children, and by working to counteract such stressors by teaching emotional intelligence, emotional regulation, resilience, and mentoring and fostering growth and development over time. 

10. Tell me some of the inspirational ways that you have worked with fathers on developing closer bonds with their children and some of the specific activities that help unite Black dads and their kids?

When working with Black fathers, I first work to explore their identity. That is, I specifically ask them the following, “Who are you?” This is a broad question that often takes on a life of its own.

After asking this previous question, I often ask, “What does it mean to be a father and what does it mean to be a Black father?” While I get a variety of answers that capture fatherhood and Black fatherhood, what I often get is related to being a “provider and protector.” I usually ask clients to elaborate, only to find that the ideas of being a provider and protector are usually narrowly defined.

Through my work, I challenge clients to think of the plethora of ways they can “provide and protect.” We usually discuss providing in financial terms, but then quickly move to a discussion about providing peace, love, affection, emotional support, etc.

Our discussion about protection usually starts with the topic of physical safety, but quickly moves to discussing psychological and emotional safety, secure attachments, bonding, and a sense of belonging. Through these critical conversations, I witness fathers and Black fathers transform how they think about themselves, and thus their identity. This also enhances how they behave and interact with their children. 

11. What are some of your favorite children's books (of all ages—from babies to teens, if possible) that showcase the best of the Black fatherhood experience?

Unfortunately, I cannot think of many. This is not because there are none, but because I just have not come across many. I recently purchased Cool Cuts by Mechal Renee Roe, which is a book that highlights the diversity of hairstyles among Black males. I appreciate the discussion about diversity and celebrating beauty, which I think reinforces positive self-esteem. I think hair is an interesting topic, especially within the context of the Crown Act.

In my clinical practice, there have been more conversations about television shows, cinema, and social media that showcase the best of the Black fatherhood experience and that show the diversity of Black fatherhood. These conversations spark reflection and help to get clients to think about what they want for their future.  

What have been some of the best examples you have seen of Black fathers in books, television shows, movies, and social media? Share some of your favorites below!